Better Than Obama #02: Bruce Wayne
Batman’s secret identity is Bruce Wayne, an American millionaire (later billionaire), industrialist, and philanthropist. Having witnessed the murder of his parents as a child, he swore revenge on criminals, an oath tempered with the greater ideal of justice. Wayne trains himself both physically and intellectually and dons a bat-themed costume in order to fight crime. Unlike most superheroes, he does not possess any superpowers; he makes use of intellect, detective skills, science and technology, wealth, physical prowess, martial arts skills, an indomitable will, fear, and intimidation in his continuous war on crime.
So, you may be asking, why is Bruce Wayne, Batman, #2 on my list of fictional candidates? It’s simple really: Because more so than the other 98 candidates, he understands our country, especially economics, understands the importance of struggle and how the hard work required to overcome those struggles will yield success, wealth and self respect. As CEO of Wayne Enterprises he’s proven himself to be an accomplished businessman. The wealth he obtains from that venture he uses to employ thousands of people in Gotham, give much needed money and resources to the underprivileged and re-invest that wealth into the tools that would make him become a more effective hero. Though he may seem like nothing more than a rich tough guy, I say that Bruce Wayne is the ideal vision of a true Republican: He understands the tenets of freedom, capitalism and the Republic but he does not fail to use his power and wealth to help those who are less fortunate, to treat everyone as equals, to help All Americans rise up, and to do whatever he can to turn his city, his country, into the shining city on a hill that it once was.
But, most importantly, Bruce Wayne is willing to do that #1 thing it will take to save our country: Be hated. Yes, be hated. In order to turn our nation back to the glory our founding fathers intended, our next President will need to make some tough decisions about how we spend our money, to cut funding to programs we can’t afford, to instill personal responsibility and work ethic into the most apathetic among us and to once and for all tell our enemies, both foreign and domestic “Enough!” Enough laziness, enough selfishness, enough lies, enough divisiveness, enough theft, enough killing, enough hate, enough pandering and enough demagoguery of the very principles that our nation was founded upon. Bruce Wayne would do what is right, to make everyone’s life better, to restore the power of our republic and he wouldn’t blame a soul. He would make those tough decisions and work through that hatred towards a more successful nation that all Americans could believe in.
For the one super hero that would truly, truly do what it takes: Bruce Wayne for President!